Chex Mix Taint Saw Massacre
The old witch toiled to keep her children fed. She traveled far and wide, battled the giant squids, the Grumpy Pill, and the Magic Owl in order to get her hands on snacky-foods with pretzels and salt and sugar and crunch. It was tiring work. Her bones were made brittle and bent in their dedication to the dark arts and her children never really appreciated all her hard work.